Snooping around

When I was at university I accidentally found out what my boyfriend of the time’s hotmail password was. It really was an accident, I promise, but once I had that information I couldn’t resist using it. Just this once, I told myself, as I logged into his account. Just a quick look and that’s it. I found and read an email from his ex-girlfriend. It’d been sent before I came on the scene and I quickly decided she sounded like a cow and was no threat to me. The rest were Facebook alerts and orders from Amazon. Nothing incriminating at all.

Despite that, a few days later I just couldn’t resist taking another peek. Again, just the normal funny pictures forwarded by friends and round-robin jokes. I never once found anything that gave me any cause for concern. And yet I kept on checking. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, I just became kind of addicted. It was almost as though I WANTED to find something.

He never found out but I know he’d have been horrified if he knew what I was up to. And I began to scare myself with my obsessive behaviour. When the relationship ended I promised myself I wouldn’t get into that cycle again. And I have been pretty good since. Sure, I still get the odd twinge of paranoia and when my now-boyfriend leaves his phone lying around my fingers sometimes start itching with the temptation to scroll through his messages. But I resist. I know of at least once relationship where major misunderstandings have arisen after one party looked through the other’s phone and found something they didn’t like the look of.

Having said that, I’ve also heard of several cheats being caught out by their mobile phone/Facebook/email accounts and I can blithely say that I don’t need to check up on my boyfriend because I don’t doubt his loyalty for a second. I’m sure if I suspected any infidelity I’d put my Miss Marple hat on and be on it in a shot.

So to snoop or not to snoop – what do you think? If he’s got nothing to hide do you think it’s fine to check up every now and again, or is it crossing a line that should be respected?

Christmas countdown

It’s been a rather strange week at work because everybody seems to have been off sick. For a couple of days there were just four of us in  - half of the usual workforce. To keep up the spirits of us brave few left behind our lovely editor bought us each a Terry’s Chocolate Orange – her reasoning was that they must have a bit of vitamin C in them somewhere to keep us healthy. We all ate too much at once and felt sick, but they did help cheer us up.

I think everyone could do with a break so we’ve all got our eye on the countdown to Christmas. It’s our Christmas party next week where we will all, of course, be exceptionally well behaved and drink just one glass of sherry before getting home for an early night. I will NOT be falling over on the ice and ending up in A&E with a broken wrist at 3am, as I did after the Christmas party last year. I had to sport a fetching red cast over the Christmas and New Year period – the only good thing about it was I got out of doing any washing up.

So yes, this year I will be sensible and well-behaved. But I know lots of people out there won’t be....So if you get up to any fun and mischief at your Christmas parties I want to hear about it!

Court support

My colleague Vicky battled through the snow earlier this week to visit a woman involved in a major court case.

Part of what we do involves working with people who have been affected by serious crime. When something like this happens it can leave those affected reeling with shock. Not only do they have to deal with the aftermath of the crime itself and its effect on them and their family, but often they are then faced with lengthy legal proceedings as the case goes to court. If it’s a high profile case they will probably also be hounded by the press, looking for comments and interviews.

We offer support during this very difficult time by stepping in to act as a buffer between the family and the press. We deal with all enquiries while the case is ongoing and, once it’s concluded, we’re there to advise the family on their options if they wish to speak publicly about what has happened.

Many people do want to speak out – to raise awareness and inspire others who have been through similarly awful experiences, and it’s really rewarding when you can help people tell their story in their own words.