Calling all Couples

OK, so I admit it - after declaring to anyone who would listen that I had no interest in the Royal Wedding and would most definitely not be watching I gave into temptation and switched on. It was only for five minutes but I just had to see the dress. And then I got a bit... well... interested. My boyfriend caught me kneeling in front of the TV with my face practically glued to the screen (I'd turned the sound down so he wouldn't hear what I was up to). The truth is, as I've written here before, everyone's a sucker for a love story.
Now the hysteria around THAT wedding has died down (well, kind of) here at Medavia we're turning our attention to all the other wonderful couples out there.
We're looking for couples to star in magazine and newspaper articles aimed at highlighting diversity, courage, talent and uniqueness in Britain.
Below is a list of the kind of couples we're looking for. If you, or someone you know, is interested, email me with more info to alice@medavia.co.uk.

·         A COUPLE AGAINST ALL THE ODDS – Have you and your partner experienced tragedy, drama, or betrayal which threatened to tear you apart, yet you stayed together against all odds?

·         BRITAIN’S MOST UNLIKELY COUPLE – Is there a remarkable story behind how you met? 

·         COUPLES WITH BRILLIANT AND BIZARRE BODIES – Tall, large, small, thin – are you and your man an extreme couple physically? Perhaps you are polar opposites? Have you both had weight issues? Or are you proud of your body image?

·         BRITAIN’S YOUNGEST PARENTS – How old were you and your partner when you became parents?

·         BRITAIN’S MOST TABOO COUPLE – Do you and your partner break sexual, social and emotional boundaries in your relationship?

Misbehaving Mums to Be

I've been fascinated by the recent BBC3 Misbehaving Mums to Be series. For those who haven't seen it, each week the programme follows three pregnant girls/women who have habits that could harm their unborn baby - these have included smoking, binging on junk food and under-eating. Specialists midwives work with the mums to be to help them kick their unhealthy addictions.
The image I've found most shocking so far was the girl who balanced a full ashtray on her pregnant bump while explaining that the first thing she does in the morning is reach for her fags. Sadly, in both the programmes I've seen so far the nicotine-addicted mums have found the idea of quitting too much and stopped filming. It's easy to judge - I smoke a bit but have always vowed that the minute I fall pregnant I will quit - but it seems that it's just not that easy. The same goes for the girls who eat unhealthily - they know what they['re putting in their mouths (or not) could damage their child but in practice it takes real willpower to break habits they've had for years.
The midwives featured in the documentaries are so inspiring and so far they've helped most of the girls to make some really positive changes. They don't lecture the mums, they just help them to see how they could be healthier.
One quibble is that the mums to be who agreed to take part in the programme must have been aware they had a problem and had some desire to do something about it, which is half the battle. But hopefully it will inspire others watching to think more carefully about how their choices are affecting their unborn baby, and to realise that help is available.

Summer Holidays

With the first rays of sunshine over the weekend it seems as though summer is finally on its way. I'm counting down the days until my holiday to France in June (a whole two weeks off, I can't wait...)
But I've still got just over a month before I can turn off my computer, so I'm focussing on finding some really juicy features before I head off.
With magazines starting to plan their summer issues I'm turning my attention to summer holiday stories.
Holidays are the time when we tend to throw caution to the wind. There's something about that mixture of being away from home and in a warm climate,  that makes people lose all their normal inhibitions. The fact that it's suddenly acceptable to have cocktails with breakfast doesn't help either (or is that just me?)
The result is great stories - romances (both good and bad), life-changing moments, terrible holiday disasters...It's amazing what can happen on a two week package holiday in the sun.
So for the next few weeks I'm going to be firmly pushing all thoughts of my own holiday (sunbathing, sipping wine on the beach, spending all day reading magazines and eating as much as I want....mmmm) to the back of my mind and concentrating on speaking to other people about their adventures overseas.
If you've got a great holiday story which you'd like to share, get in touch. You can email me at alice@medavia.co.uk.
Here's a picture of a beach to keep us all going in the meantime.

This week I'm looking for

I’M NOT A BAD MUM!

Do you let your child drink or take drugs? Maybe they have a much older girlfriend/boyfriend who you have welcomed into your home. Or maybe you’ve paid for your child to have plastic surgery. Have other criticised you for the way you’re bringing up your children? Would you like to put the record straight?

HURT BY THE PERSON I LOVED

Have you been the victim of a crime at the hands of someone you loved – a partner, parent or sibling? They will need to have been convicted of the crime.

I’M A SERIAL BRIDE

Have you been married five times or more? Are you about to get married again?

LOVE TRIANGLE

Did you catch your man cheating with another woman? Was it someone you knew – maybe even a friend or a sister? Did you forgive them? The more unusual the story, the higher the fee.

PARTNER’S SHOCKING SECRET

Was you partner hiding a shocking secret? Maybe they’d committed a terrible crime, or had another family. Did you turn detective to uncover their secret life?

UNUSUAL WEIGHT LOSS

Have you lost weight in an unusual way? Perhaps you devised your own diet or exercise regime, or came up with a strange incentive to encourage yourself to lose weight. We will need before and after photos.

Love: Lost and Found

With Valentine's Day just been and gone, this week seems like a good time to post about long lost love.
I always love these stories where couples rediscover each other years after they originally broke up and find all those old feelings are still there. It's so romantic. 
Of course it can also be very disruptive when they've married in the meantime and often people can end up getting hurt. I remember years back there were a string of stories about Friends Reunited breaking up marriages after old school romances were reignited. Nowadays it seems to be Facebook, or even Twitter, that are the main culprits.
I suppose love - and life - are never simple, and you just have to do what you can. And I think it's inspiring to hear that the decisions you make don't always have to be final, and there are second chances.  
Here's a story of mine that was published in Woman's Own last week. I'd love to hear any of yours about starting over with someone from your past.

Post Secret

Love this website. Keep thinking about sending them a secret confession.

http://www.postsecret.com/

Going to the chapel

For the last few years the Office for National Statistics has reported that marriage rates are at their lowest since records began.
Last year it was reported that, for the first time ever, fewer than two in 100 women over the age of 16 got married in a single year.
The rising cost of weddings and cultural changes, such as women working and wanting to get married later, or not at all, have all contributed to the decline in marriage.
With these statistics in mind, this week I'm exploring the reasons why women do or don't get married, and looking for women with stories to illustrate the arguments for and against.
Perhaps you went through with your wedding only to regret it afterwards. Or did family and/or friends try to talk you out of it? id you overcome all the odds to get married and was it the happiest day of your life - or did you break up on honeymoon and vow never to marry again? Or maybe you came close to marriage and decided against it at the very last minute.
Whatever your story, I want to hear it, so please get in touch. Email alice@medavia.co.uk

Surrogacy

Surrogacy has been in the news again since Elton John and David Furnish’s son Zachary was born to a surrogate mum on Christmas Day. Since then we’ve had a few requests from magazines looking for surrogates, or parents who have had children through surrogacy.

It’s a topic that really interests me. I worked with a young woman last year who decided to become a surrogate after watching a documentary about women trying to conceive – she was so moved by their plight she wanted to do something to help.

And I was fascinated by the C4 documentary My Weird and Wonderful Family which aired last year and featured Tony and Barrie Drewitt-Barlow and their family. The couple broke new ground when their eldest twins were born to a surrogate in America ten years ago and it was really moving watching their journey as they tried for more babies.

Now the couple are opening a surrogacy centre in Britain to help other hopeful parents through the process.

The issue of surrogacy, whether for gay or straight parents, will no doubt continue to cause debate. But watching the documentary on the Drewitt-Barlow’s it was clear that the couple had created a happy, stable family life for their children. And that, after all, is the most important thing of all.

Friends with no strings attached benefits

“Friends with benefits” seems to be a popular theme in Hollywood this year. Two films are due to be released in the next month or so, both exploring the idea of no-strings attached sex with a friend. Rather unimaginatively, one, starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, is called Friends With Benefits, while the other, starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, is called No Strings Attached. See what they did there?

So, do these kinds of set-ups ever work? In my experience, no. It’s a situation that’s inevitably fraught with all kinds of complications and one, if not both parties, almost always ends up desperately hurt. The trouble is that the guy is usually genuinely delighted with the arrangement while the girl pretends she’s all fine and dandy and laidback about it but secretly hopes he’ll fall madly in love with her. Which never happens.  Except maybe in a Hollywood film.

New Year resolutions

So, we’re all back at work. Christmas seems like a distant memory and we’re full of good intentions for the New Year. As it’s already January 4^th it’s more than likely many of you have already made and broken your resolutions by now. Which is why this year I decided not to make any at all. But I was interested to see what other people have resolved to do. I found a poll online of the most popular resolutions.

1. Lose weight
2. Be happy
3. Save money
4. Fall in love
5. Get a job
6. Read more
7. Eat, drink, try or learn something new
8. Quit Smoking
9. Take a photo every day for a year
10. Run a marathon

Lots of these seem guaranteed to make you feel like a failure. Unfortunately it’s not as simple as waking up one morning and telling yourself that today you’re going to fall in love. If only it were.
With unrealistic goals like this, it’s no great surprise that, by the second week of the year, many people find themselves at the bottom of a bottle of wine, shoving chocolates in their mouth in between puffs of their cigarette while bemoaning their single status (I’m not judging, I’ve been there).
So I want to hear about people who have made unusual resolutions – ones they can keep and that will genuinely make themselves, or other people, happier, healthier and wiser.

Snooping around

When I was at university I accidentally found out what my boyfriend of the time’s hotmail password was. It really was an accident, I promise, but once I had that information I couldn’t resist using it. Just this once, I told myself, as I logged into his account. Just a quick look and that’s it. I found and read an email from his ex-girlfriend. It’d been sent before I came on the scene and I quickly decided she sounded like a cow and was no threat to me. The rest were Facebook alerts and orders from Amazon. Nothing incriminating at all.

Despite that, a few days later I just couldn’t resist taking another peek. Again, just the normal funny pictures forwarded by friends and round-robin jokes. I never once found anything that gave me any cause for concern. And yet I kept on checking. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, I just became kind of addicted. It was almost as though I WANTED to find something.

He never found out but I know he’d have been horrified if he knew what I was up to. And I began to scare myself with my obsessive behaviour. When the relationship ended I promised myself I wouldn’t get into that cycle again. And I have been pretty good since. Sure, I still get the odd twinge of paranoia and when my now-boyfriend leaves his phone lying around my fingers sometimes start itching with the temptation to scroll through his messages. But I resist. I know of at least once relationship where major misunderstandings have arisen after one party looked through the other’s phone and found something they didn’t like the look of.

Having said that, I’ve also heard of several cheats being caught out by their mobile phone/Facebook/email accounts and I can blithely say that I don’t need to check up on my boyfriend because I don’t doubt his loyalty for a second. I’m sure if I suspected any infidelity I’d put my Miss Marple hat on and be on it in a shot.

So to snoop or not to snoop – what do you think? If he’s got nothing to hide do you think it’s fine to check up every now and again, or is it crossing a line that should be respected?

Christmas countdown

It’s been a rather strange week at work because everybody seems to have been off sick. For a couple of days there were just four of us in  - half of the usual workforce. To keep up the spirits of us brave few left behind our lovely editor bought us each a Terry’s Chocolate Orange – her reasoning was that they must have a bit of vitamin C in them somewhere to keep us healthy. We all ate too much at once and felt sick, but they did help cheer us up.

I think everyone could do with a break so we’ve all got our eye on the countdown to Christmas. It’s our Christmas party next week where we will all, of course, be exceptionally well behaved and drink just one glass of sherry before getting home for an early night. I will NOT be falling over on the ice and ending up in A&E with a broken wrist at 3am, as I did after the Christmas party last year. I had to sport a fetching red cast over the Christmas and New Year period – the only good thing about it was I got out of doing any washing up.

So yes, this year I will be sensible and well-behaved. But I know lots of people out there won’t be....So if you get up to any fun and mischief at your Christmas parties I want to hear about it!

Court support

My colleague Vicky battled through the snow earlier this week to visit a woman involved in a major court case.

Part of what we do involves working with people who have been affected by serious crime. When something like this happens it can leave those affected reeling with shock. Not only do they have to deal with the aftermath of the crime itself and its effect on them and their family, but often they are then faced with lengthy legal proceedings as the case goes to court. If it’s a high profile case they will probably also be hounded by the press, looking for comments and interviews.

We offer support during this very difficult time by stepping in to act as a buffer between the family and the press. We deal with all enquiries while the case is ongoing and, once it’s concluded, we’re there to advise the family on their options if they wish to speak publicly about what has happened.

Many people do want to speak out – to raise awareness and inspire others who have been through similarly awful experiences, and it’s really rewarding when you can help people tell their story in their own words.  

What makes a good story?

To continue the theme from my last blog post, another frequently asked question is “what kind of stories are you looking for?”

Usually, my response is “anything!”, which probably doesn’t seem very helpful. But the truth is it’s very difficult to know what kind of story a client may have, or how it may work, until I’ve discussed all the possibilities and explored all the angles available.

It’s great when a client comes to me with a very firm idea of what their story is, but it’s also good when someone approaches me with a variety of ideas which we can talk over together.

Having said that, there are a few themes which are always popular and I find these are a good starting point to get people thinking about stories they may have.

Here they are:

Crime: Have you been the victim of a shocking crime? Or do you know someone who has? Did your husband/ partner commit the ultimate sin? Have you been held up at gun point? Violently attacked or conned out of all your possessions? Was a loved one tragically murdered? Have you been the victim of knife crime?

Romance: Did you meet your partner in strange circumstances? Did you meet after a long absence? Is your partner a lot older or younger than you? Did your partner shock you with something unexpected on your anniversary? Is there another unusual twist to your relationship?

Betrayal: Has your partner betrayed you? Perhaps with a close friend? Did you plot to catch him out? Have you sought revenge from a love-rat? Did you or your partner/ husband stray? Did you somehow manage to forgive each other and now you are more in love than ever? Did you end up marrying your partner’s brother? Or did your sister steal your man? Are you still friends or has it divided your family?

Health: Have you or a family member suffered from an unusual illness or condition? Have you given birth despite the odds against you? Are you addicted to plastic surgery? Have you had a dramatic operation which has transformed your body and your life? Was it a disaster – or the best thing that’s ever happened to you? Do you have a fear or phobia of something irrational?

Weight: Have you been anorexic/bulimic? Are you overweight? Have you shed pounds? Has your eating disorder led you to find love? Did your partner try to control you with food? Did he realise how controlling he was? Did you work things out or did you leave him?

Holidays: Have you had a holiday romance? Did it lead to marriage? Have you had a holiday disaster?

Weddings: Have you had an unusual wedding? Did you marry against the odds? Were you left at the altar? Or did you leave him on the big day? Was your wedding/ honeymoon a nightmare? Did something happen on your Hen that changed your life forever? Or did he overstep the mark at his Stag?

Crazy world: Of course, your story could be just simply strange! Maybe a pet that saved your life, or a strange fetish or fascination.

FAQs

The questions I get asked most frequently when talking over stories with clients are: “Will I have to be pictured?” and “Do you have to use my real name?” And the answer to both of these questions is yes.

That often seems to surprise people, but with real life features it’s essential that readers can really connect with the person telling the story.

When you start changing people’s names and blanking their faces out, or using models instead of real pictures, it distances the reader from the story.

I know that when I’m reading a magazine I always want to know what the people behind the story look like, how old they are, where they work, who their friends are... all the little details that help you build up a picture of what they’re really like.

Of course, some people aren’t keen on their names appearing in the national media, while others just don’t like having their pictures taken. Which is why we always make sure we talk over the process very carefully before we get to the stage of pitching ideas to editors.

There’s never any obligation to go ahead if the client decides it’s not for them, but I find most feel reassured when they know they will have the final article read back to them before it’s published, so they know exactly what’s going in. And they often get a professional photo-shoot with the magazine, so there’s no need to worry about unflattering photos!

And I never mind people asking lots of questions – in fact I welcome it. It means that they’re thinking everything through very carefully. Then I know, when I’ve answered all the questions, we’ll get the best possible feature from everyone’s point of view.

Here comes the bride

Magazines always love unusual stories with anything to do about brides, weddings, hen nights... So when Katie got in touch some time ago and told me how she'd had a massive row with her bridesmaids on her hen night and sacked ALL of them just weeks before the wedding, I knew we could get her a deal. Now magazine loved her story about the blazing argument and how she'd had to find new bridesmaids at the last minute.
Likewise, when Joan, who appeared in the Channel Four documentary My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, got in touch with my colleague Nic to share her story about how her life had turned out after the big, lavish wedding, we knew the newspapers and magazines would be interested. We were right.
Women just seem to love reading about weddings. Maybe it's the romantic streak in us... or maybe we just love looking at pictures of beautiful dresses and big, fancy cakes.

Forgiving and forgetting

In between buying fancy dress outfits, drinking too much and then tending to my hangover, an unpleasantly large chunk of my weekend was devoted to dealing with an ex-friend who has turned rather nasty.
I won’t go into the details here, mainly because just thinking about it puts me in danger of an anger-induced heart attack. But it got to me to thinking about how relationships (by which I mean friendships as much as relationships of the romantic kind) can break down in the most spectacular fashion.
Sometimes the reasons for those breakdowns are only too clear – and one or other of the parties involved is most definitely in the wrong (this always depends whose side you’re on of course).
But sometimes arguments can explode over the most trivial of matters. Ironically, sometimes the most ridiculous issues end up ruining a relationship forever, while I have spoken to women who have forgiven friends after the most terrible of betrayals (sleeping with their boyfriend being top of the list).
I suppose it depends on how strong the friendship was to begin with, and how understanding the individuals are able to be of human weaknesses. We all make mistakes after all... (not me, I was totally in the right)

Long-distance and other love stories

Today I’ve been mainlining tea to try and stave off the utter exhaustion that comes from getting up before dawn to drive three hours to work.
I do this commute every few weeks so I can spend Sunday night with my boyfriend, who lives about 140 miles away from me. We only get to see each other at weekends so, knackering as it is, it’s worth the early start to spend that precious extra night with him.
Long-distance relationships aren’t easy. We have to plan when we’re going to see each other weeks in advance and it’s hard missing him, and not being able to get a hug after a hard day at work. Phone calls just can’t replace actually being with someone. But we just get on and do it because, for now at least, it’s the only option.
And, difficult as I find it, I know that many other couples have it much harder. In the course of sourcing features for magazines I’ve spoken to women who have managed to make relationships work when their partners live on the other side of the world, or when they’ve faced fierce opposition from family and friends.
There are the women who’ve been heartbroken when they discovered their man was cheating but decided to give them one more chance and I’ve even spoken to a couple of women who met their men in prison and stuck by them until they got out.
It constantly amazes, and inspires me, how hard people are prepared to work in the name of love. And the good news is that magazines never tire of these stories. So if you’ve battled against the odds to keep your relationship alive, get in touch.

Every parent's worst nightmare

When Cassie took her sick baby boy to hospital she just wanted doctors to make him better. But instead she and her partner, Wayne, were accused of harming their little boy and he was taken away from them.
That visit to the hospital became the beginning of a year-long nightmare as the couple fought to prove their innocence and get their son back. In their darkest moments they even began to suspect one another.
Doctors finally found that little Cavern was suffering from a rare medical condition which was causing the symptoms. A judge ordered social services to hand the couple their baby back.
Although they’ve got their boy back the pain they felt at losing him for all those months, and being accused of harming him, will never leave them. Cassie came to us because she wanted her story to be heard and for others to know what the couple had been through.
We were only too happy to help and placed her story with The Mirror and in Chat magazine. Cassie was delighted with the coverage and the sensitive way in which her story was told.
View the story as it appeared in The Mirror here:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/life-style/real-life/2010/09/09/each-of-us-feared-the-other-had-beaten-our-baby-115875-22547119/

Dramatic first dates

Victoria got in touch a while ago with her story about a date which took a very dramatic turn...
Years after leaving college an old school-friend got in touch and asked her out. She agreed, and they arranged to go to the cinema.
All was going well, until halfway through the film Victoria suddenly lost sensation in the right-hand-side of her body.
Understandably, she was terrified. Her date was engrossed in the film and completely oblivious but she managed to fumble in her phone and send him a text message saying she needed to be taken to hospital.
He rushed her to A&E where Victoria was told she’d suffered a stroke. She broke down in tears from the shock and as Colin held her in his arms she realised she loved him.
Thankfully, Victoria has now made a full recovery, and the close call made the couple realise we were meant to be together. They’re now engaged and planning to get married next year.
We successfully placed Victoria’s story in Love It magazine – Victoria’s story appeared in last week’s edition.
As first date stories go, it’s a pretty unusual one. Have you had any dramatic or crazy first dates?